Let’s first take a look at what the Bible highlights about love, defines as love, and reminds us of aforementioned love…
13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.1 Corinthians 13
A person may be able to do amazing things, but if love is not present within -it is worthless. Have you thought about how you may obtain love? Gain true love? Maintain ability to love? Sustain through love? Refrain from lusts to continue in love? Remain in love? Willing to even be slain for love?
Love comes from GOD in receiving the Gift of HIS SON JESUS Christ… Believing in, trusting in, accepting within, and giving your life to JESUS forgives your sins that plague you with shame, self-hate, and guilt causing insecurities, doubts, and fears.
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.John 3:16-17
JESUS is the Way, the Truth, and the Life for you to receive into your heart in order to have an ability to love sincerely, wholeheartedly, and continually. HE allows you to love GOD and love others as you love yourself.
JESUS was called names, spit at, mocked, and given a crown of thorns thrust upon HIS head to take away your shame. HE was hated by HIS own people and willingly died in your place to take away your self-hate. HE took upon HIMSELF the sins of the whole world to include yours and GOD’s wrath by shedding HIS own blood on the cross to cover over and take away your guilt. He won the victory for you to have new life when HE was made alive again (resurrected) after defeating death, the grave, and our enemy satan to begin to take away your insecurities doubts, and fears with GOD’s perfect love… HE accepts us despite our flaws to create us anew, adopts us as a son or daughter into HIS family, allows us to serve HIM and others with gifts HE gives and approves of, and grants access into Heaven all for placing one’s trust in JESUS as one’s personal Savior. You may give one’s life to HIM as LORD and live for HIM from this day forward into eternity…
13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”Romans 10:13
Once we are saved by JESUS, GOD gives us the ability to love. We are helped by the Holy Spirit to love GOD and others by putting it into practice as our lifelong endeavor…
God’s Love and Ours
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.1 John 4:7-21
Now that a foundation of love (built upon JESUS who is the Rock of our Salvation), is in place -a husband may have the faith, the free will, the freedom, and the focus to love his wife as Christ loves the church with forever in mind…
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.1 Peter 3:7 New American Standard Bible
In the King James Version, it says to dwell with them according to knowledge…
In the New International Version, it says be considerate as you live with your wives…
I am the husband of Tami and have oneness in a committed relationship with her as my wife given the command to live with her in an understanding way, according to knowledge and with an ongoing considerate response toward her…
Tami is to be loved in being cared for, provided for, and included in any of my endeavors GOD assigns and gives the grace to accomplish. Though she is weaker, it does not mean she is less important, less valuable, or considered less of a person. I’m to honor her as together we are joint heirs of the grace of life that GOD has given to us in and through HIS SON’s death, burial, and resurrection.
Let’s take a further look at 1 Peter 3:7 into the meaning of “according to knowledge” as used in the KJV and “in an understanding way” as used in the NASB by looking at the Greek Lexicon found in the Strong’s Concordance:
The transliterated word for knowledge and understanding is "gnosis."
1. knowledge signifies in general intelligence, understanding
a. the general knowledge of Christian religion
b. the deeper more perfect and enlarged knowledge of this religion, such as belongs to the more advanced
c. esp. of things lawful and unlawful for Christians
d. moral wisdom, such as is seen in right living
Practical Application (with regards to the above definition of gnosis)
- Husbands and wives share oneness together; not meant to ignore and leave the other out.
- Husbands and wives share the gospel message by living out their faith in Christ, hope from Christ, and love through Christ.
- Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:24
- Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33
- Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:31
- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
- Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Colossians 3:5-10
- Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17
Let's take a closer look at the the word origin of "gnosis" which is "ginosko."
It lends itself to living not just in a knowledgeable way in a general sense, but a more clear and understanding way in a detailed and personal sense with my wife.
1. to learn to know, come to know, get a knowledge of perceive, feel
a. to become known
2. to know, understand, perceive, have knowledge of
a. to understand
b. to know
3. Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman
4. to become acquainted with, to know
Personal Application (with regards to the above definition of ginosko)
- As Tami’s husband, I must learn to know about how she is doing health wise each day as her health fluctuates from having TIA’s (mini strokes) that most likely stems from having pre-eclampsia with our twins. I have to understand it may change even within hours and minutes of the day.
- I need to perceive when Tami needs prayer, needs encouragement, needs me to be present with her in silence, needs me to be present with her to listen, or needs me to give her space and time alone without being bothered.
- I need to know how Tami feels by simply asking her how she is doing.
- Sex is an important and special time between a husband and wife, but also understand that Tami’s well being, more than my desire for physical intimacy, is the priority over this part of our lives. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5. I am ready and willing to go into prayer mode for extended time frames when Tami is not doing well health wise.
- I have come to know that Tami is often weak and unable to manage extended time out in public to include attending church (thus one of the reasons for starting this online ministry)
- I have come to know that Tami feels left behind if I pursue being involved in full time ministry that would take up so much time away from her and away from meeting her need of settling down and living a more simpler life at this particular time in our lives.
- I have come to know that she is not able to pack up and leave for a new city and “better” opportunities I dream up somewhere else out there in the world.
- I made the commitment to work more in providing for our family financially so that Tami doesn’t feel overwhelmed by lack of funds or feel pressure to work more herself.
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.1 Peter 3:7
The transliterated word for show is aponemo.
1. to assign, portion out
The transliterated word for honor is time pronounced "tee-may."
1. a valuing by which a price is fixed
a. of the price itself
b. of the price paid or received for a person or thing bought or sold
2. honor which belongs or is shown to one
a. of the honor which one has by reason of rank and state of office which he holds
b. deference, reverence
The transliterated word for heir is sugkleronomos.
- a fellow heir, a joint heir
- one who obtains something assigned to himself with others, a joint participant
The transliterated word for grace is charis.
a. that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech
2. good will, loving-kindness, favor
a. of the merciful kindness by which GOD, exerting HIS holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues
3. what is due to grace
a. the spiritual condition of one governed by the power of divine grace
b. the token or proof of grace, benefit
- a gift of grace
- benefit, bounty
4. thanks, (for benefits, services, favors), recompense, reward
Purposeful Application (with regards to the above definitions of aponemo, time, sugkleronomos, and charis)
- I assign value to Tami who has been bought by Christ’s blood.
- I portion out value to Tami so she knows she belongs in my life, consider her a joint participant who is chosen and given to me as a gift from GOD, and show value to her with GOD’s grace in and through me that offers joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness, grace of speech, good will, loving-kindness, favor, mercy, and giving thanks for her.
- My goal for Tami is that I will cooperate with GOD to increase within her faith, knowledge, affection, and kindle the exercise of faith, hope, and love that benefits and rewards her and others.
- By choosing to honor and value Tami in this way, our prayers will not be hindered.
I am deeply encouraged that with GOD it is possible for our prayers to be answered as I choose to love Tami by living in an understanding way and showing her honor as my helpmate in being joined together as heirs of the grace of life…